A Message, a Bridge, Sex and Intimacy

There is massive gap in understanding within the intimate and sexual realms between men and women. It is a source of pain, distrust and the continued divide and conflict between men and women.

I write this in the hopes to bridge this divide so we may continue to evolve the dynamics between men and women.

A woman can want and be engaging in sexual experiences and interactions without the need or desire to end in sexual intercourse.

A woman can be content to talk explicitly, to touch for hours, to kiss for days and to writhe in her sexual wildness and sexual fullness and engage in other sexual acts that do not involve sexual intercourse.

Many men, ( yes not all) , do not understand how this could be possible. How can a woman be offering so much attention, energy, freely expressing her sexuality or be a wildly sexual and experiencing an erotically charged exchange with a man and not want to have intercourse??! !!

A woman engaging in sexual acts and interactions and sharing highly charged sexual and sensual experiences with a man can still have a clear inner desire to not want to have sexual intercourse. Regardless whether the relationship is a one night stand or a long term relationship.

There are many possible reasons, and I cover some though not all ( and not all these reasons are applicable all of the time and all at the same time)

1. She just simply does not want to have sexual intercourse with the man at that particular time.

2. She is not interested to share sexual intercourse with that particular man, then and there and possibly not ever.

3. Sexual intercourse to the woman requires another level of safety intimacy, emotional and, or spiritual connection and she is not wanting or ready to share that level of intimacy with the man.

4. The woman gathers immense pleasure in sexual interactions and acts prior to having sex, deeply enjoys the heightened sexual build and has no need to dissipate the energy through orgasm or sexual intercourse. A woman is happy to ride the charge and electric currents and stop without the release, relief or final outcome of orgasms or sexual intercourse. A woman of course can also have many orgasm, but energy still can be drained, if the right chemistry and connection is not present.

A woman may intuit that the kind of energy building and enhancing sexual intercourse is not possible with this partner at this point in time and maybe not ever.

5. A woman may intuitively or consciously know that engaging in sexual intercourse prematurely with a man or in that moment in time she senses may completely destroy the potential for mind blowing, wild, intimate and passionate sexual intercourse.

6. A woman can be turned off by the predictability of of sexual intercourse as the final and only outcome of any sexual exchange.

7. A woman can determine the kind of man you are and your level of understanding, compassion and respect for a woman's boundaries in the face of the mans heightened desires and sexual craving.

8. A woman may not find sexual intercourse enjoyable that has no emotional or spiritual connection.

9. A mans persistence and the pressure that he places on her to reach the point of sexual intercourse may result in a natural response in the woman, that errode's the woman's erotic charge and in some cases inspires repulsion. Pressure and persistence from a man to engage the woman in sexual intercourse can greatly diminishing any growing desire she may have had in the first place to engage in sexual intercourse.

10. Engaging in sexual and sensual intimacy for prolonged periods ( beyond a day or two weeks or months even ) without sexual intercourse is a way to determine how a man will be able co~create mutual pleasure, connection and the deeper intimacy and soulful, passionate sexual intercourse that a woman is interested in.

11. In long term relationships, the desire to engage in sexual intercourse and the erotic charge between two people can be greatly diminished or completely destroyed by the predictability of regular sexual intercourse or quick orgasmic relief.